Living in modern society, there is a fine line to walk between being confident and coming off as arrogant. On the other edge of this narrow corridor is the image of weakness, uncertainty, and hesitation that can limit your opportunities professionally, socially and in areas of your life, you’d never expect it to be a problem.
How do you become a confident man?
The answer is a complex one, but the central theme, one that is shared by the infinite self-help books, rambling online personality gurus, and daytime talk show hosts is to believe in yourself.
Self-confidence is difficult to hide, either you have it or you don’t. Self-confidence can arrive in a variety of ways. Self-help advice usually centers on your ability to believe in your judgment and decision-making abilities, while tying in an emotional component in evaluating your self-worth through self-esteem.
Building Your Tool Box Of Skills
Many self-help gurus miss the most important aspect of self-confidence: you have to be good at what you do. Whether it’s rebuilding a carburetor, closing the deal on a real estate purchase, teaching a math class, coaching a football team, or simply helping a friend in need, you have to know what you’re doing.
There is no replacement for skills, knowledge, and judgment (we used to call this wisdom) in learning how to apply those three things into a self-confident image. That’s why we at ManMadeDIY are proponents of skill-building and learning how to do it yourself.
Self-confidence is built, it’s earned through hard work. You don’t become self-confident by relying on the work of others. You can work with others in a team setting, sometimes that builds the greatest self-confidence of all.
Being a confident man in a team situation means you have to rely on the confidence of others. In a team setting, the person next to you has to trust your skills to keep the ball moving.
Whether you’re working on a detailed set of shared blueprints in an architectural firm, holding the right flank in a sweeping maneuver with fellow Marines, or working as an electrician in concert with carpenters, HVAC people, and plumbers.
Hone Your Craft
The first step is to have that core knowledge, skill, and expertise that people look for. With that in place, having confidence in your abilities in a given situation is imperative.
You’ll encounter a lot of negative attitudes, ignore them. At the end of the day you are responsible for your decisions, whether they are good or bad.
As JFK, quoting Napoleon, once said, “Victory has a thousand fathers, defeat is an orphan.”
Learn From Your Mistakes
Learning from your mistakes is possibly the best method of enhancing your skills and in the process the first step in creating confidence.
How many math problems you solved correctly did you remember? How many that you did incorrectly did you take further notice of and learn the concept? That’s the power of learning from mistakes.
Stay Humble and Welcome Help
No one does it alone, and the image of the lone maverick is a well-worn cliché that doesn’t sell well. Be thankful to those that helped you. It doesn’t make you weak to appreciate the help of others. On the flip side, help everyone, even those that don’t help you.
Embrace The Journey
Nobody is perfect, and no one is the best in every situation. The message among these traditional leadership roles is that everyone has assets that can help the group. You have unique assets, embrace them.
If you lack self-confidence you don’t put the best image forward, which can prevent you from getting the best results possible in both business and personal relationships.
Some are born confident, others must take steps to achieve it. Whichever path you take is up to you.