Women Think Men Care About These Things, But They Barely Matter
Even the most confident person is bound to feel self-conscious at times, and this is often the case in the early stages of a relationship. After all, when you meet a new person, it's hard not to constantly analyze your actions in order to gauge your new beau's level of attraction.
Of course, it's also easy to overthink things - and in many cases, the things we think are a big deal are a total non-issue. Men on Reddit explained a few of the things they really don't notice about women, and the explanations are downright fascinating.
Many guys are clothes-blind
"Wearing the same outfit too often or wearing the same clothes as another woman in the place you end up. Men don't care. Other women sometimes do."
"As a girl, I have never understood this one. Unless you have a seamstress that does custom clothing for you, how do you expect that no one else would have that same blouse the store sold thousands in all colors and sizes?"
They aren't picky
"I used to be a bit self conscious of my boobs because they are on the smaller side. I'm not flat but my cup do not runneth over."
"Every guy that has seen them has been like 'I don't care, they are boobs and boobs are good, yours are good.' I started asking guy friends their boob thoughts and they were mostly the same, they liked boobs large or small.""
Word to the wise
"Whatever physical feature they have that they're insecure about and think their man agrees is ugly."
"There are probably OTHER guys who'd be put off by it, since there's someone who likes or hates every kind of physical feature; but the man who's actually dating or married to the woman in question either obviously doesn't find whatever it is ugly or care about it or even notice it, or else he positively likes it."
Only seeing the positive
"As a man I don't care about makeup, shoes, nails, most of these answers, but when they all look nice I notice. Putting care into how you look and making good aesthetic decisions is attractive!"
"And when a platonic woman friend or colleague, has good shoes, nails, lipstick shade, whatever, I compliment them because I know they put thought and effort into it."
It's all an enigma
"If you ask a woman, they can tell you what they think men care about, but they can't guarantee men don't actually think that."
"If you ask a man they can tell you the reverse. But either one has incomplete knowledge."
Shoes barely register
"Shoes. Women wear the most painful and uncomfortable shoes imaginable in the name of beauty. We really don't care about them at all. No guy ever said 'That girl is really hot but she's wearing sneakers.'"
"For the record, heels are not about the shoes, themselves, but shaping the rest of the body."
Everyone's got it
"Cellulite and stretch marks."
"Speaking personally I have never noticed cellulite. I have seen stretch marks (have plenty of my own). None of that matters. Have never heard other blokes point it out"
Different strokes
"Weight, on both sides of the spectrum."
"I feel like on one side, being skinny is really overrated, and curvy/chubby girls don't realize how much of a hot commodity they are, and on the other side, really thin girls, or girls with small chests or butts think they're not sexy, when in almost whatever configuration they are the epitome of sexy to a whole group of boys."
Clearing up some misconceptions
"I think men here are confusing what we do vs the effect it has on your appearance."
"For example: having long lash extensions will make your eyes appear more feminine if you don't focus on them, or wearing painful heels will probably elongate your legs and make you look taller and slimmer… The problem is that it works the majority of times"
Gift-givers take note
"Men don't care about 'man-coded' goods. Normal everyday objects shaped like tools, or packaged with nuts and bolts, or branded with 'TOUGH GUY' or 'BATTLE TESTED.'
"The vast majority of men, in the vast majority of cases, want the everyday object that does the job sufficiently for the lowest price."
Only do it for yourself
"Influencer / valley girl beauty standards."
"If that's your preferred look, all the power to you, of course. But please don't feel pressured to go get a tan, straighten your hair, and get lip fillers."
Sounds a tad sensitive
"I see a lot of women put stuff like 'I'm funnier than you' or 'Can beat you in pool' or whatever. I guess it's supposed to come across as playful maybe? But imo it's just obnoxious."
"I don't want to date someone who is gonna try to prove she's better than me at stuff and who may get upset if she's not."
Guys only care about their own height
"Most guys don't care about your height. You see guys posting their height on dating apps because it's a deal breaker for many women."
"There are women with dating profiles that post their height and say that you must be taller than them."
They barely share their feelings
"What our other males friends do. I know that sounds a bit odd but if I go out with the boys and my significant other asks about my friends my response is they're fine."
"If she asks for more detail about their lives, I’m going to be honest I probably do not know. Boys don’t talk about that stuff too much."
Parents aren't always right
"When I was younger, my mom expressed how important it was to paint my nails cause guys liked it and cared a lot."
"Meet my partner later on who did not care one bit what color my nails were. But maybe that is just him."
Don't stress about career stuff
"Job/career in terms of attractiveness (as in, if you make more money, you're more attractive). Most guys legit do not care."
"So many gals out there are sold this idea that men want 'successful' women, but guys aren't that picky. They'll date a chick who works at Target the same if the chick were working at a hospital."
Sometimes it's more of a hindrance
"Honestly, heavy makeup/excessive contouring in general."
"Like, if we end up in a good place I'm either going to have to smell (super sensitive sense of smell) or taste it and get it all over me. Yeah, it's fine. I get that it's armor to some. But do I care about it? No."
It's...fine
"I was watching something with my girlfriend last night and there was some kind of scene with a couple lesbians kissing and she started (messing around) like nudging me and going 'oooh you getting turned on…'"
"I guess I can't speak for all men but it does nothing for me, I don’t care at all. I don't know where this whole thing started that lesbians hooking up is the hottest thing ever or that guys are super into it."
Lots of men never notice a trend
"I don't think most men’s attraction follows the same 'trends' that women, mostly in the spotlight really, seem to think defines what men are attracted to."
"Obviously talking about men who are at least decent human beings here. It’s this weird push by entertainment industries that doesn’t actually resonate in the real world."
Tune out those unrealistic standards
"Basically any minor thing about your body that you may be insecure about. Could be belly fat, stretch marks, breast size, etc."
"The truth is that most people are perfectly fine and we're all ugly by the beauty standards set up by companies that want to sell us products or influencers who post picturesque edited shots."
Everyone should share the load
"I asked my husband and he said he doesn't care about having a partner who can cook really well, as much as the stereotype suggests."
"He doesn't expect a woman to be a chef/baker pro, we can share food tasks."
Don't try too hard
"Dating a "bad b****."
"Most men are just going to think they're a pain in the butt. We all just want to be with someone who is nice and loves us for who we are"
Sounds like they notice a little bit
"When they shave off half their eyebrows or take them completely off. Just to paint them on."
"Sure, looks good when they're all done up but its extremely off putting once the make up comes off."
Some could work on their listening skills
"90% of the details in their story. Just move the plot along, y'all."
"When my wife gives directions, she mentions bends in the road and features along the way. Utterly pointless and just confuses the message."
Claws for days
"Long ah $200 nails. You're essentially paying to make your hands less functional. Which is a weird flex, not to mention its kind of reminiscent of Edward Scissorhands."
"Normal sized nails actually look nice but long ones look insane to me lol."
It's like a different language
"A LOT of beauty advice and fashion."
"Things like hip dips or cellulite or having your nails done people seem to think comes from men's judgement, but I feel pretty confident to say that these are not things men notice, they’re standards purported by other women but attributed to men"
Barely noticing the subtleties
"You know how women want their makeup to make them look amazing without looking like they're wearing too much makeup? Like when it’s too obvious it’s too much?"
"Guys are generally the same, regardless what it is. If it looks like you’re trying way too hard to alter your natural look, it’s too much."
But what do you care about?
"Don't care about status, don't care about brand names, don't care if you have shaved your legs or pits today, yesterday, week before, whatever, I sure don't."
Don't care about sports. Don't care if you have hobbies or passions that are for you and not me to interrupt or make my own."
Blonde, brunette, doesn't matter
"I can't seem to convince my wife that few men actually give a hoot about hair color."
"She’ll say; 'oh, he just likes blondes'…never heard a guy say that a woman who was otherwise very attractive was just missing the right hair color."
If they like you, they like you
"Lady, I like you. I don't remotely care about any of the superficial stuff, I probably wont even notice if it changes."
"I like you, the person, and just want to share life and connection with you. Dont try to be anything but your authentic self. You are people, if you are hungry, eat. If you have gas, let it out. If you find something funny, snort like a pig as you laugh."
Dan Gray
